Kanga is in town, which often means a lot of “I told you this last week!” and bad, embarrassing movies. One winter break she made me watch Uptown Girls. All I remember from that movie is how skinny Brittany Murphy’s ass was.
So last night, after I had already fallen into Pajama Mode, I get this phone call from Kanga. She wants to see Twilight. That night. She and I are about an hour away from each other. Considering that she lives clear on the other side of the nation, I say, “Okay!” I very seriously contemplated going in my pajamas, but instead compromised and changed into normal clothes but kept the glasses on.
I try not to do in-depth reviews for superficial movies, so here are just a few thoughts on the Twilight “phenomenon.” Cedric Diggory as Edward – Yeah, I dunno, wasn’t at all attracted to him. But I would totally do a vampire if he’d whisk me up to the tops of trees and fly like a flying squirrel!
Cinematography for the film? Actually very beautiful! It helped me get over the “I can’t get over this pale makeup job.”
Though I do like how she dresses and makes herself up for off-camera photo ops, Kristen Stewart can’t interview for shit. She’s also got this thing about kind of being a good socially awkward girl and not. I call it the Claire Forlani – an otherwise attractive girl, when acting, always looks like she’s about to cry or is trying to mask some embarrassing pain. Stewart doesn’t seem to have full control over her facial ticks, causing me to often wonder “Is she high? On set? This is highly unacceptable behavior!” When she bursts out at Edward about how she will not leave him, I wanted to hold her shoulders and tell her “Okay, you need to cool it with the stuttering overload.” It is called overacting, and it does not help Stewart in all her pale-faced close-ups.
Nikki Reed is surprisingly ugly in it. She’s a hot girl in real life, and you’d think Catherine Hardwicke would have given more of an aesthetic beauty to her darling Thirteen writer and star. She just… Doesn’t look interesting in this film.
The script wasn’t bad, per se, but there were moments that reminded me of the cheesiness of Transformers and all I could do was squirm in my seat. Sometimes lines work in books, see, but not in movies. Basically any time Cedric Diggory tried to get awkward lovey dovey, I was like: “Oh, brother…”
Lastly, according to this cinematic interpretation of the Stephenie Meyers books, all vampires look like douchebags.