People overuse the word “epic.” In frat pack movies, in gaming, in a Web-worked world oversaturated with memes. They sprinkle it on shit like it’s glitter.
Well I am here to tell you that “epic” is not glitter. (And your shit isn’t “epic.”) Everything is not fucking “epic!” That is the whole point of “epic!” “Epic” is a long-ass poem or the end of an era. “Epic” is not a meal, no matter how delicious. A meal would have to take 2,000 pages to chronicle and end in a peace treaty in order to be epic. The Last Supper might be epic, but I’m Agnostic so I am unqualified to comment on it. In moments of dictive weakness I’ve misused “epic,” but considering how long I’ve been writing in a blog, not that often.
I get that the idea of the joke is to use a hyperbolic word to describe something simple, but…it’s just not that funny of a joke. The people who say “The way Jenna fell flat on her face at the bar? Epic!” are the same people who think “I like long walks on the beach” is an original and funny opening to a personal introduction. “Epic” and “long walks on the beach” are about as funny as coconut water. What? Yeah, exactly, shattup.
So when Coachella announced its lineup for 2012 yesterday, I was not about to have it. Combinations of “epic” and “Coachella” popped up so many times in my home feeds that I just had to say it – online, on Twitter, where passive-aggressive rhetorical statements are wont to be made.
And then in “Coachella 2012: By the numbers,” The Washington Post picked up on:
- The positive correlation between “epic” and “Coachella,” and
- The fact that I found it all extremely annoying.
Just look at that classy permalink:
And of course, I only learned about the linkback because of a Tweet from a Twitter friend. Thanks, Albert!
I am excited about this year’s lineup. “Next Episode” is my jam, so I feel quite compelled to go. (I also had a dream once where I was making out with Snoop Dogg – this makes me feel the opposite of “compelled” to go.)
Anyway, you wanna go? I hear it’s going to be legen-wait for it-AMAZERBALLS.