Things you overhear in a Vegas bathroom: “I have the same tongue scraper!”
Your partner telling you, tenderly, lovingly, “You have bad breath.”
Dressing frumpy and owning it.
Dressing fancy and owning it.
Waiting from twelve to four on a Saturday for the dryer repairman.
Having a dryer!
Questioning the cleanliness of your all-over carpeting.
Buying big furniture.
Not from IKEA.
Roommates? Hahaha. Hahahhahahhaha.
Little people make your ovaries explode.
Simultaneously yelling “GET OFFAH MY LAWN!”
Living instant ramen-free for almost a decade.
(Not true. Still snacked on Cup Noodles up until 2012.)
Being the key demographic of the new “throwback” radio station.
Pining to travel, and regretting you didn’t travel recklessly before.
Then thinking about people who have never left the States or their state, and thinking: “Ha-ha! Beat you!”
Learning what “Return of Saturn” is and being like, “Oh, been there, done that.”
Coming into your own.